Amnesia
by Misato'sPenPen
Summary: Kakashi gets a second chance to raise Sasuke without the specter of revenge. Anal, Fingering, M/M, Oral, Rim, WAFF, WIP
1. Amnesia

Sasuke murdered Tobi and then turned on the joint shinobi forces. He killed hundreds before Naruto confronted him. Kakashi and Sakura knew they could not do anything to help; they stayed back. Naruto could not persuade Sasuke; his rage was too great. They fought. It was breaking their teammates' hearts, but there was nothing they could do.

Then something happened. Even Naruto wasn't sure what. But after kicked up dust fell back to earth they saw Sasuke was down, unconscious. And he didn't wake up. Many wanted to take advantage of the situation and murder the Uchiha while he couldn't defend himself, but Naruto would not allow it. They took Sasuke home to Konoha.

Sasuke lay under constant ANBU guard , in the rebuilt hospital while the village regrew around him. His team—or rather, former team—came to see him often, but Sasuke would not wake up. Even Inochi could not break through whatever type of coma he was in nor could Tsunade heal the damage—there wasn't any.

Kakashi and Sakura arrived together two weeks after the war ended. Kakashi couldn't bear to see Sakura like this nor could he bear to feel like this anymore.

"Maybe we should stop coming here," Kakashi said. "He may never wake up. Even if he does, he's going to be executed. Even repentance can't save him now. Not even Naruto's optimism can save him."

"I want to speak with him one last time." Sakura was holding back tears. "I need to hear his voice once more."

"We can save all of us, including Sasuke, so much pain if we just ended it now."

"No." She shook her head vehemently. "If there's a chance . . ."

"There's nothing that can save him."

But he kept coming back. It took another week for Sakura to give up, but Kakashi arrived after every mission. He visited one Uchiha in the morning—Obito—and another in the evening.

There was never any change.

Kakashi stood there promising himself—again—that this would be the last time he'd visit. _Sasuke's dead. He's been dead much longer than a month._ But he still leaned against the windowsill with his back to the outside. He prayed for what he told himself would be the last time, _Just wake up and end this limbo._ He was lost in his own misery.

Then he heard a moan. He looked up from the floor. It took a second for him to process what he'd heard and turn his face to the bed. The ANBU guard was even slower to respond. Kakashi was already standing at Sasuke's bedside when the ANBU appeared near the door.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi prompted.

Sasuke moved, but didn't appear to be awake. He shifted, the first time he'd moved on his own, but his muscles were too atrophied to move much. Finally, his eyes cracked open. He tried to speak, but his throat was not accustom to moving anymore.

Kakashi moved forward and held out the water, then realized Sasuke didn't have the strength to grasp the glass. Kakashi moved in to support Sasuke's head with one hand and carefully poured the water into Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke groaned and tried to speak a few times. His eyes had difficulty focusing, but he looked at Kakashi more than anything without fear or concern.

At last, he could croak, "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital in Konoha."

"Where?"

"Konoha."

There was honest confusion in Sasuke's eyes. Kakashi might as well said they were on the moon.

"Who are you?"

"What?" Sasuke was annoyed at having to ask every question twice. Kakashi began to grow concerned. "I'm Kakashi." A chill ran up his spine.

Sasuke just blinked at him. "Do I know you?"

Kakashi pulled away. "Hatake Kakashi. You don't remember me?" There was no recognition in Sasuke's eyes. "Haruno Sakura? Uzumaki Naruto? Uchiha Itachi? Uchiha . . . Sasuke." Nothing. Kakashi could have been speaking Greek, it would make no difference to Sasuke. There wasn't anything even at the sound of his own name.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi was beginning to panic. "You're name?"

"My name?" Now panic awoke in Sasuke's eyes. "I don't know."

"Your name is Sasuke."

"Sas—ke?"

"You're a member of the Uchiha clan. You're brother's name was Itachi. I was your sensei. Sakura was in love with you, but you couldn't care less about her. Naruto was your best friend and rival. You were born and raised in Konoha. Don't you remember anything?"

His own panic was feeding Sasuke's.

"You really don't remember who you are, do you?" If it had been anyone else, Kakashi would have continued to be frightened for him or grieved; that would be like the death of the person he knew. But with Sasuke, he had another chance. He was excited. He even felt elated. He had another chance. He had another chance. He could save Sasuke.

"What happened to me? Why can't I remember anything?"

"Do you remember anything at all?" the ANBU finally chimed in.

Sasuke searched his memory. He looked at his hands. He touched the calluses, wondered what they could be from. Sasuke made a simple handsign; the ANBU tensed. But there was no chakra.

"What does this mean?" Sasuke asked.

"It's to summon and concentrate your chakra," Kakashi answered.

"Chakra. That's . . . right . . . somehow." He looked at the two masked men and touched his own face. "I'm not wearing a mask."

"You've never worn one."

Sasuke looked into Kakashi's single eye. "I trust you." He looked at the other man. "I don't trust you. Why?"

"I was your sensei; you know me. You never knew this man."

"I . . . I . . . don't remember anything. Just waking up. What happened to me?"

"I think you hit your head. I don't really know what happened to you. You've been asleep for a month." Sasuke started to panic. Kakashi moved in. "Calm down; don't worry. There's nothing in your past worth remembering. You've had a painful life. It's better if you forget." He caressed Sasuke's hair in a parental fashion. He couldn't hold back his relief and . . . joy. Kakashi took the confused boy in his arms. He wanted to weep with joy; he had an innocent Sasuke back. He had Sasuke back.

He turned to the ANBU. "Report this to the Hokage. I'll stay with him."

The ANBU hesitated, but left.

"It'll be alright, Sasuke. I promise you, everything will be alright now. I'll protect you this time. I swear it. I won't fail you again."

TBC

By the way, I'll be attending Yaoi-Con in Long Beach, CA this October and my name badge will be Misatospenpen, so if you'll be there, say hi. I accept gifts. ^_^


	2. Sequestered

Oh, shit. You people are putting a lot of pressure with your expectations! ^_^ I really just came up with this randomly while I was driving on Venice Blvd. (in Venice, CA). It wasn't my plan to post this chapter next among my stories, but what gets done first gets posted first.

Masy: Sasuke as a blank slate is interesting and I don't think anyone's done it yet. I also like the moral question of can a person be held responsible for their actions if they don't remember them.  
Anonymous: LOL! That is hilarious! Considering it's revenge that makes Sasuke such a hard ass . . .  
Prescripto13: Indeed. I actually only found out there was a Yaoi-con last year, but it was in San Fran and that's too much of a drive, but this is totally doable! I'm excited.  
The Smiling Fox: I can't keep my mind from creating new stories. Yeah, it was a teaser chapter.  
Always-Unpredictable: Thank ye.  
MunchieManda: Sasuke would be hot in a tutu or Gai's green spandex. I wanted to try an innocent Sasuke for a change. I do so much evil or slutty, I wanted to explore this possibility.  
krito1389: Thank you much!  
Nazrita: I would never put a character in an excruciatingly painful emotional situation . . . (I couldn't even write that with a straight face) ^_^

Lemon!

* * *

Tsunade examined Sasuke. He was healthy, if suffering from muscle atrophy. Sasuke was wary of Tsunade, but was comforted by Kakashi's presence. Before he answered any question he looked at Kakashi. He shied away from her when she tried to touch him, but Kakashi assured Sasuke it was alright. When it came to testing his strength, Tsunade let Kakashi do it, pressing his hand against Sasuke's wrists and ankles individually as Sasuke tried to resist him. He was amazingly weak though it was understandable after so much time asleep.

When Tsunade and Kakashi moved to step outside and talk, Sasuke frantically grabbed for Kakashi's hand, but rather than a tight, desperate grab, he lightly touched his wrist. It broke Kakashi's heart how weak Sasuke had become.

"Don't go, please."

"I'll be right outside; I'll come back in a minute. I promise."

Sasuke let go. Or rather, Sasuke's muscles gave out and gravity took Sasuke's hand down.

Kakashi and Tsunade stepped into the corridor while an ANBU kept watch inside the room.

"I still don't understand what could cause such a coma and amnesia," Tsunade said.

"Can you confirm if it's temporary or permanent amnesia?" Kakashi asked.

"No. His memory might come back with time or if it's triggered by something or it may never come back."

"If he doesn't remember anything, can he be held responsible for what he's done?"

"I want to say 'no,' but what if he does remember? I can't release him. If he remembers and attacks . . ."

"Let me take him, let me watch him," Kakashi insisted. "No one knows Sasuke as well as his team. Sakura's a girl and Naruto's broken up by all this. Let me watch him. I can recognize if his former personality begins to come back. I knew him."

"What if the old Sasuke does start to come back?"

"I'm one of the few who could hope to match him even in his weakened state." He pointed to his covered Sharingan.

"He has taken to you. He looks only to you and practically clings to you."

"I was the first person he saw when he woke up."

"Like a kitten imprinting on his mother. Or is it a scrap of memory?"

"I'll take care of him. I'll watch him."

"But if his former personality does return?"

Kakashi understood. "I can't kill him. If he tried to escape or cause any harm I will wound him, but I can't kill him."

Tsunade pitied Kakashi. She understood: Kakashi loved the boy, his protégé and his greatest failure. She also knew where it was all going; Kakashi had to know it too. She nodded. "I want you to stay with him 24/7. I want you even sleeping in the same room. The moment he shows any of Sasuke's less desirable traits or a glimmer of memory, you send a report to me."

"I will."

"His muscles are atrophied; he'll have to retrain his muscles. You'll have to wheel him or carry him. Never leave him alone or with anyone else; I'll send someone to you who specializes in physical therapy. Never leave his side and prevent anyone from trying to make him remember. I'm forbidding anyone—especially Naruto and Sakura—from visiting him. Just you, me, and the physical therapist."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"You can move him tonight once the streets are pretty much empty."

"Thank you."

She never heard anyone so sincere and relieved. It broke her heart because she knew what the council's decision would be in the end.

Kakashi returned to Sasuke's side.

"I'm taking you home with me tonight," Kakashi explained. "We'll work to retrain your muscles. I promise everything will be alright. I'll take care of you. I'll protect you."

If Tsunade had heard that, she would have never let Kakashi take Sasuke home.

xxxxx

Sasuke looked so different without the rage and grief and pain behind his eyes. Sequestered with Sasuke. Kakashi couldn't—nor was he allowed to—take his eyes off him. At first he had to do everything to care for him right down to dressing and feeding him. He didn't mind; he had Sasuke back and he loved doting on his former student, trying to even after Sasuke regained some strength.

Sasuke tired quickly when the physical therapist worked with him, but he still had that determination to succeed. He was also as alert and observant as ever. He saw the resentment in the physical therapist's eyes as the man left. Sasuke lounged on the sofa as Kakashi saw the man out.

"He doesn't like me."

Kakashi couldn't argue with that, the man never tried to hide the fact he didn't want to be here.

"Why doesn't he like me? What did I do?"

"It doesn't matter. I don't want you to remember. You were very unhappy. There's nothing worth remembering. Trust me." He put water on the coffee table in front of Sasuke.

"I do."

"You were like a son to me. I'll make sure you're happy this time." He started putting away the weights and other equipment they used to retrain Sasuke's body.

Kakashi's choice of words got Sasuke thinking. "Where is my father? My parents?"

"They're all dead. Both of our families are dead."

"How?"

"They were all shinobi, our families died to save the village. You should be proud of that."

"I'm not. But I don't feel sad either. I guess I can't morn someone I don't remember."

"That's good. They wouldn't resent you for not remembering them; they would only want you to be happy." Kakashi ruffled the younger man's hair as if he were eight. "Don't try to remember. I love you; I don't want you to go through that again. Please, don't ask about the past."

Sasuke nodded.

"I'll take care of you."

"Why are you the only one who cares about me?"

"I'm not, but I'm the only one capable of caring for you. You're friends . . . the Hokage and I don't think it would be good for them to see you. Not now. Maybe once you're healthy again. Eventually, you'll probably become a shinobi again and team up with us again. You were sometimes happy then."

"I don't know. Maybe I should shed everything of my former life. Except you, Kakashi. I don't think I can trust anyone else."

That concerned Kakashi a little. Was that misanthropy some of Sasuke's old personality? And he still didn't use honorifics. But since Sasuke never used them, they wouldn't be something he would remember how to use. No, the old Sasuke was dead. _Please, let him be dead._

xxxxx

A second bed had been brought into Kakashi's bedroom in his new house. Somehow, to him, the room didn't feel cramped. Sasuke still had a ghost of his pride, but he let Kakashi care for him. The shadow of pride and his innate determination made him try his utmost to rebuild his muscles, but Kakashi continued to have physical contact with him almost hourly. That strengthen the bond that had already been born of Kakashi's love for his student and Sasuke initial trust.

Sasuke liked the soft look in Kakashi's single hooded eye. He thought to ask about Kakashi's shut eye more than once. Kakashi didn't wear his headband at home and Sasuke could see the scar. He wondered if the reason behind the scar was something Kakashi would want to share. But he loved that one gray eye. Kakashi might take off the headband, but he kept a mask on, even at night.

Kakashi had just changed for bed and Sasuke was sitting up thinking. Kakashi always got a little scared when Sasuke started thinking like that, afraid he might remember something.

"Kakashi?"

"Hmmm?"

"Did I love you?"

Kakashi hesitated a beat. "What do you mean?"

"What did I think about you?"

"I really don't know. You ran away four years ago. I really don't know."

Sasuke was curious why he ran away, but Kakashi didn't like questions, so he let it drop for now. "I love you."

Kakashi's lungs just stopped; he knew from the way Sasuke said that that he didn't mean in a familial way. He forced his lungs to return to work and he shook his head. "I'm just the only person other than the doctor and Hokage you've been around."

"I think I loved you."

"You had a funny way of showing it," he said with a hint of bitterness before he could stop himself.

"You mean running away?"

Kakashi sighed. He knew he shouldn't say anything to jog his memory, but he needed to say it because it was coiling around his heart. "You tried to kill me."

"I did?" Sasuke was shocked.

"You were mad with grief and rage and high on a victory. I don't know how you really felt, but you seemed to hate me and tried to kill me. But I don't think it was me you were angry at though; I never did anything to you."

Sasuke was forced to wonder who Kakashi really was; he really didn't know him well, he just trusted him. He didn't know where he was or anything about the people around him. He had to wonder whether he was among good or evil people. But what did it matter? He loved and trusted Kakashi. Even if it meant he was among demons, he didn't know any better and that was fine with him.

However, Kakashi's regret and devotion spoke to a huge amount of guilt. What did Kakashi do to him to make him feel so guilty? That was the only thing that would change Sasuke's feelings. But that could wait.

"I'm not that person anymore," Sasuke said. "I love you."

Kakashi swallowed. He had to admit he thought about it. He loved Sasuke so much it hurt. He was determined to not let things go wrong this time around.

"Did I love anyone else?" Sasuke asked.

"No. You were too consumed by revenge, grief, and rage to care about anyone else. As far as know anyway."

"What happened to make me like that? Please tell me."

"No. Not this time. I won't lose you again."

"Greif? My family?"

"Yeah. You blamed everyone for their deaths. Please don't remember."

"I don't want to, but I'm curious. Why would I try to kill you? Why am I hated? I know that doctor can't be the only one. No one is allowed near me because they might try to harm me as much as you fear me remembering. And why do you fear my memory so much? Which is worse, you jogging my memory or giving me no choice but to try to remember?"

"I've said too much already, but you wanted to destroy the village. You killed several people before you . . . collapsed and lost your memory. If you remember, you might try again or you'll simply be executed. I won't say more than that."

"I promise never to ask again, if you kiss me."

Deer in headlights. Kakashi could hear his own heartbeat thumping loud in his ears. He loved Sasuke, but he resisted thinking of Sasuke in a sexual way. He was so innocent. But he loved him. He walked over to Sasuke's bed and looked into Sasuke's black eyes. He pulled down his mask for the first time.

"I never seen your face," Sasuke said.

"No, you never have."

Kakashi put a hand to Sasuke's pale cheek; Sasuke leaned in to his hand. Kakashi's fingers moved into the locks of raven hair. He slowly bent down. Their lips met. But they just touched. Sasuke finally tilted his chin up just a little. Kakashi's tongue peeked out and licked Sasuke's upper lip and then he covered that lip with his own and sucked gently. Sasuke shut his lower lip over Kakashi's and instinct took over from there, opening his mouth and luring Kakashi's tongue in with his own.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Kakashi's neck and purposely fell backward into his bed, bringing Kakashi with him. Kakashi was suddenly surrounded by Sasuke's scent. He kissed him for all he was worth.

_I'll save you, I'll protect you, I'll make you happy, I'll do anything for you. I love you._

Kakashi pulled away and sucked at Sasuke's neck. He could feel Sasuke's erection against his thigh. All blood left one of Kakashi's heads and filled the other. He was never blind to Sasuke's beauty, but he'd always been a child. Until now.

He made have been older now, but he was more innocent. Kakashi pulled back—intending to put a stop to this—only to see love, trust, and lust swirling in those black eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kakashi asked. He really hoped Sasuke would throw the breaks on, but Sasuke nodded.

Sasuke could see the fear and doubt in Kakashi's eye, but he knew both emotions stemmed from how much Kakashi loved him.

Kakashi thought maybe he could go half way. He took off Sasuke's clothes, Sasuke not really helping since Kakashi seemed to be enjoying uncovering his aroused body. Once Sasuke was naked, Kakashi took a moment to appreciate the beauty before him before taking the young man into his mouth.

Sasuke gave a soft cry as his erection was engulfed by that hot, wet mouth. Somehow the feeling didn't feel very foreign to him, but it felt so good.

Honestly, this was Kakashi's first time giving a blow job, but he'd received quite a few in his life and mimicked the best of them: his tight lips running over the hot flesh, moving his tongue over the taut skin and following a throbbing vein, the head pressing against his soft palate then working its way into his throat. It surprised him how long and thick the Uchiha was when erect, but Kakashi was very adaptable and was able to take it all.

Kakashi thought he could get through this with just a blow job, but not after hearing Sasuke moan and gasp his name. Sasuke's breathing was getting heavier and every sound he made went straight to Kakashi's cock. He resisted palming himself through his pants and just concentrated on pleasing Sasuke.

Sasuke gripped the sheets and the pillow near his head as he lay askew on his bed trying not to buck his hips up into Kakashi's throat; he knew that wouldn't get him anywhere anyway since Kakashi already had his entire length in his mouth. Then Kakashi caressed his scrotum and Sasuke couldn't help but buck. Kakashi had been ready for it and continued to massage his balls as he sucked.

Sasuke tried to gasp Kakashi's name as a warning, but Kakashi already knew. He slid halfway off Sasuke's cock before Sasuke cam. Sweet and salty at the same time with a slight metallic tang. It was the first time Kakashi had tasted semen and it was not distasteful. Kakashi swallowed and licked his little lover clean.

Though his plan to just suck Sasuke off was pretty much discarded, he was about to ask one more time, but Sasuke beat him to it.

"I want you inside me, Kakashi."

"One second."

Kakashi stood and went to find the lube he kept for when he had the occasional anal sex with a woman, disrobing as he went. He came back triumphant and nude. Sasuke's eyes traveled down that toned body to his hard length. For some reason, nine and half inches of thick flesh didn't scare him, just aroused him.

Kakashi thought he was too innocent to realize how much this would probably hurt. So he warned him. "It's going to hurt quite a bit the first time."

"I want it," Sasuke assured him.

Sasuke had twisted so he was lying properly on his bed. Kakashi got on the bed and went back to mouthing Sasuke's cock and balls while he lubed his fingers and started to prepare him. The first finger always goes in easily enough, but Sasuke's body relaxed, inviting him to add a second finger. When it came at least to preparation for anal sex, men and women aren't very different. Every woman he'd done this with for their first time either tightened up or stayed the same, only the very experienced ones loosened up. It was like a stone inside his chest: Sasuke wasn't a virgin. That's why he was so ready for it; he may not remember having sex, but his body did. It didn't take long to finish stretching him. _Damn you Orochimaru._

He needed to kiss him, needed to show him that he was different from Orochimaru, even if Sasuke didn't remember the other man. He needed to assure Sasuke that he loved him. He kissed him for all he was worth.

Kakashi readjusted to keep kissing him and press into him. Sasuke stopped kissing back as Kakashi forced his way into him. When he moaned, it was in pleasure. Kakashi raised his head and sucked on Sasuke's earlobe. Sasuke moaned so beautifully, clearly not in any pain.

"Kakashi," he sighed.

Kakashi was filled with a whirlwind of emotions: he loved Sasuke, but he felt guilty for doing this and he was angry that Sasuke wasn't a virgin. He put an arm under Sasuke's lower back to pull him closer and another under his shoulders.

Neither lasted very long, not even Sasuke who'd just cum. Kakashi pulled away afterward to look Sasuke in the eyes. "I love you, Sasuke. I always have."

"I love you. Stay with me tonight."

"I will." Kakashi spooned him. "You know, most people will consider our relationship unethical. Don't let on to anyone, alright?"

"Who would I tell?"

Kakashi kissed his hair. "I know. I'm sorry things can't be easier for you."

"I like this. I don't want to be around anyone but you."

"As antisocial as ever. Then I'll gladly lock you away from everyone, from any harm."

Sasuke pressed back against him.


	3. Friends, Old and New

Just so you all know, nothing's dropped, I'm actually working on 'What Sasuke Wants,' URaA, and 'Three Deadly Little Words' right now. They all have difficult to write scenes. I have one more new story to post soon and I'll have another in about two months (I try to have more than one chapter ready to go before I post a new story). One problem is the changes at adultfanfiction which used to list stories in the author profile by the last time they were edited and that's how I kept on top of things, but now it's by when they were first publish—that doesn't help me. So I've made a list of my own so I can try to keep up with things. Hopefully, one of the aforementioned stories will be the next updated, if not, it's Hopelessly, De Oppresso Libre, Amnesia, or the new story.

And btw, I've been a little down over the number of reviews on all my recent stories. I hope it's just because some of you are starting school (yes, I'm past that, I'm 28).

Masy: *Evil smile*  
The Smiling Fox: I can put a cover image on fanfiction now. ^_^ How Sasuke lost his virginity will be discovered later. Until then it's going to bother the shit out of Kakashi.  
Rosebunse: There is a level of creepiness to Kakashi in this one, but not that much. Yeah, I should write an out and out creepy one, but I am working on one where it gets sort of creepy. The name of that story will be 'Triangles.' Odd name, I know, but it fits, you'll see.  
ReaperninHiro: Shikamaru—who is rarely wrong—disagrees.  
Nimbafuu: Oh, thank you! Yes, sometimes you write yourself into a corner and sometimes it's difficult to get the words to flow, but I do love it so and making people happy or die of nosebleeds is my greatest reward. ^_^  
Prescripto13: ^_^ Considering how sexual things got so quickly, the mother thing is kinds creepy in retrospect.  
Nazrita: Honestly, this was going to be a shorter story, so that's why the sex came up so fast. But it only lengthened by two chapters. Story's done in my head, just not fully written.  
Aguna: Thank ye!  
xXMiyakoXSasukeXx: It's not until October, but I hope it will be awesome! I'm a huge of Shungiku Nakamura and I hope she has a booth full of manga, anime, and toys! *squeel of excitement!*  
wikedsinn: Your wish is my command.

* * *

Kakashi knew this was wrong in so many ways, but Sasuke was willing. Underage, innocent, his former student, easily taken advantage of, but oh so willing.

When he first came to Kakashi's house, Sasuke was barely strong enough to lift his arm. Kakashi didn't mind bathing him for the first week until Sasuke gently told him he could do it himself. Kakashi still kept the door open since he was ordered to stay close to him at all times. But after three separate rounds of sex over the last twelve hours, Kakashi insisted on joining Sasuke in shower. Sasuke let him.

Sasuke's hair was longer now and the duck butt had sagged into a more normal looking style. Nobody wanted to cut it, uncertain if Sasuke's memory would be jogged by seeing his familiar reflection in a mirror. Kakashi washed the raven hair, massaging the boy's scalp thoroughly. Sasuke moaned, luxuriating in being pampered not because he had to be, but because someone wanted to pamper him.

Kakashi was careful to rinse his hair away from his eyes then started on the rest of his body. He started with his back, massaging the muscles, strained from so much use after so long asleep. He then ran his soapy hands down that hairless chest and flat stomach. The muscle definition was not as sharp, but he was still sexy. Kakashi actually found him more sexy because he needed to be protected; Sasuke needed him.

They'd just fucked twenty minutes ago before Sasuke's little nap and Sasuke was limp, but Kakashi was determined to bring him back to full hardness for a fourth round. He tried to push away his misgivings about how ready Sasuke was for multiple rounds, but he couldn't escape the likelihood that Orochimaru had repeatedly raped him. He wondered if Orochimaru had claimed to love him too. That brought Kakashi back down to earth and he switched to a more functional fondling.

Sasuke groaned. "Again?"

"No. Unless you want it."

"I think I'm worn out."

Kakashi kissed his temple. "I love you." He finished up washing them both then helped Sasuke dry off before he took care of himself. Sasuke drew the line at dressing him. Kakashi changed the sheets and Sasuke curling back up like a cat as soon as the soiled bedclothes were gone.

"Tried?" Kakashi asked.

"Sleepy."

"You never were a morning person; guess you'd rather sleep." It occurred to Kakashi that Sasuke was not as grumpy in the morning like he used to be. This Sasuke was far more good natured and calmer than the one he had known.

"Go ahead and sleep. I'll prepare food when you wake up."

"Hn."

Kakashi's heart froze for a moment, but Sasuke had a soft smile on his face and was drifting off to sleep. That 'hn' was just too natural to him. Kakashi was sure he had nothing to fear.

xxxxx

They were happy lovers for a week, successfully hiding their new relationship from the only two people who visited them. No one else but a few ANBU knew who Kakashi was harboring or that Sasuke was even awake.

Kakashi sighed at the knock at his door. Sasuke opened his eyes; he was napping on the sofa under a blanket—he napped more than a cat. Kakashi reluctantly opened the door to tell Gai or whoever it was that he was sick or something to get them to leave.

His eyebrows shot up: it was Naruto and Sakura.

"We know Sasuke's here," Naruto said.

"You have to let us see him," Sakura said.

"No, I'm under orders from the Hokage."

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled and tried to force his way into the house.

"No!" Kakashi forced him back. Naruto didn't give up and Kakashi was forced to pin him against the outer wall of his house. Sakura stepped back, not expecting this to get physical.

"Listen to me," Kakashi said. "If Sasuke remembers one thing, he'll be executed. I was there when he woke up, so he already saw me, but Tsunade fears that he might remember if he sees the two of you."

Curiosity got the better of Sasuke and he came to the open door, peeking around the door demurely. Sakura threw herself at him the moment she saw him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sasuke nearly collapsed under her assault. Sasuke's eyes were wide and he didn't move as Sakura started crying into his neck.

"Fuck," Kakashi sighed. He let go of Naruto.

Sasuke was looking at Kakashi for help from this girl who was crushing him and crying on him. Kakashi pulled Sakura off him. Kakashi stared at Sasuke, watching for any signs he recognized Sakura. He didn't. Sakura sank to her knees and continued to cry, so happy Sasuke was alive—and not trying to kill her.

Naruto stepped up. "Sasuke?"

"I don't know you," Sasuke said bluntly.

"You really don't remember us?"

"I don't remember anything."

It felt strange to have to do it, but Naruto introduced himself and Sakura. "We—"

"Stop it," Kakashi warned. "Don't try to jog his memory; don't remind him of anything."

"I don't really want to remember," Sasuke said. "I just want to be left alone."

"Come on, teme, we were friends."

Sasuke's back straightened a bit and Kakashi feared he remembered something.

"Teme?" Sasuke was offended. "You say we were friends, but you say something like that?"

Naruto expected Sasuke to call him 'dobe,' but it never happened. "I didn't mean anything by it; we just always insulted each other."

"I'm not the person you knew. Just leave me alone. Kakashi."

Kakashi eased Naruto back and reentered his house, closing the door on the pair. Kakashi couldn't stop himself from taking Sasuke in his arms. He was close to tears; he was just so afraid Sasuke would remember and he'd lose his precious Sasuke. Again.

"I don't think I want to know them."

"If it were up to me, I'd keep you locked away so you wouldn't look at anyone but me."

"Do that."

Looking back, Kakashi had to admit, he wanted to keep Naruto and Sakura away from Sasuke for more reason than to keep him from remembering; Kakashi was becoming jealous of him; he really wanted to keep Sasuke to himself. Sasuke was his alone.

xxxxx

Kakashi asked for permission to train Sasuke. He argued that if he never regained his memory and he was pardoned, he would need to use his innate talents as a shinobi; if he did regain his memory, Kakashi retraining him wouldn't make any difference. And it was something they could do locked up every day as they were. Tsunade reluctantly agreed.

The first thing Kakashi taught him was the transformation jutsu. The Sharingan had yet to make an appearance, but with his muscle memory and innate skill with chakra, Sasuke picked up the jutsu within minutes.

"With this, we might even be able to go outside for a while," Kakashi said. Sasuke may not want to know anyone else, but Kakashi had seen him look longingly out the window. Kakashi kept the front windows curtained to avoid anyone peeking in and seeing someone they shouldn't, but he let Sasuke see out the back windows, never letting him outside as per orders. At this point, even Kakashi was getting stir crazy.

It took some negotiation with Tsunade and coaching Sasuke to create a transformation that was utterly nondescript and they finally got to go outside.

Kakashi was sure it wasn't the short brown hair and plain features that made Sasuke so uncomfortable; it was just being outside and around other people. Luckily everyone ignored him. Kakashi on the other hand had to deal with people who hadn't seen him in the last month while he was sequestered with his new lover.

"Kakashi!"

"Oh, kami," Kakashi whispered. The worst of them approached.

Sasuke looked at Kakashi curiously.

Gai came over and Sasuke couldn't help raise his eyebrows in disgust at the green outfit and boisterous personality.

"Kakashi, I haven't seen you in a month! Sending you out on that kind of mission with your student in the hospital . . ." Gai said disapproving. "How is Sasuke doing?"

Sasuke was calm by nature but the question made Kakashi uncomfortable. "No change."

"Shame." Gai finally noticed the young man with Kakashi. "Who's this?"

"A young man from outside the village who has potential to become a shinobi."

"Excellent. Kakashi is one of the best shinobi in the village; he is my eternal rival after all. You are in good hands."

Kakashi slumped in defeat. Sasuke nodded to Gai. He was too scared to speak around all these people and new surroundings.

"I'm just taking him for a walk through the village," Kakashi said. "He's not too comfortable here yet."

"You need to use the enthusiasm of youth!"

"Too soon, Gai. Let him settle in before you start that. See ya, Gai."

Gai walked away thinking it was a good thing that Tsunade had given Kakashi another student to keep his mind off the one still laying comatose in the hospital.

Luckily, no one even thought to concentrate on chakra and no one recognized Sasuke's distinct presence. Kakashi really just worried about Kiba. All the Inzuna clan would scent Sasuke, but probably only Kiba would recognize Sasuke. As they walked further from home, the more fearful Kakashi became of Kiba or the rest of Team Seven finding them. Sasuke was just fearful. They turned around and retreated back toward their sanctum. Kakashi was sure they had just escaped any difficulties as they were about to leave the market district and approached the neighborhood where Kakashi lived.

However, it appeared that some deity above or demon below had it out for Kakashi and Kakashi was certain that both were the case—and considering the missions he'd carried out, he might have even deserved it.

Kiba and his team were hanging out with their sensei, her baby, and Shikamaru. Kakashi was just walking by with Sasuke at his elbow when Akamaru sniffed and whined to Kiba. Kiba turned around and saw Kakashi with an unassuming young man. He took a sniff of the air himself. That was definitely Sasuke's chakra. He ran over and got in Sasuke's face, staring into his face, looking for Sasuke, but didn't see anything of the Uchiha in his face or eyes. Sasuke shrank back and almost hid behind Kakashi like a frightened kitten.

_Oh, fuck._Kakashi regretted every bad thing he did in his life. Perhaps this was vengeance for having sex with Sasuke.

"Kakashi-sensei," Kiba said, still looking in Sasuke's face, "I know that smell." Akamaru whined beside him and the others were drawn to the scene. Kakashi sighed. "This is the Uchiha," Kiba growled.

"Don't drop the jutsu," Kakashi warned Sasuke. "Yes, this is Sasuke, but he doesn't remember a thing. It is Sasuke, but it's also not Sasuke."

Sasuke was shrinking back further against Kakashi's side as Shikamaru came in close as well. Hinata stood there uncertain and Kurenai stood back with her baby. Shino stood next to her, calm as Sasuke ever was.

The fact Sasuke was shrinking back rather than standing his ground made Shikamaru pause. He never knew Sasuke to give a millimeter. Kiba also noticed that, but he and Akamaru also could tell his chakra wasn't as dark as it used to be, not even as dark as it was when he was their classmate in the academy. Hinata could see it too. No one was that good of an actor; this really wasn't the Sasuke they knew.

It was Kurenai who was the most suspicious. "Kakashi, a moment. I think you can leave him with his classmates for a minute."

Kakashi gave Sasuke a reassuring hand on the back as he walked over to Kurenai.

"So you really don't remember anything?" Kiba asked Sasuke.

Kakashi turned his full attention to his fellow Jounin captain.

"Kakashi, I have students who are precious to me as well," Kurenai began. "I know you want more than anything to save him and have him back, but are you sure about this?"

"That's not him. That's not the boy who left us or plotted against us or attacked us. He doesn't even react to Itachi's name. He saw Naruto and Sakura and he felt nothing. He didn't know his own name, Kurenai. He's happy. I've never seen him happy. He's content, he smiles. That's not the dour Uchiha I trained. You're right, I want nothing more than to save my precious student and I will. All I have to do is keep him from remembering."

"What does the Hokage and the Council think about this?"

"They're still debating it, but Tsunade's on our side."

"Be careful, Kakashi. He may just break your heart again. You hid it well, but I know how badly his leaving broke you. If he does start to remember . . . cut your losses."

"I'll keep your words in mind."

"I don't believe you," she said with a smile and rubbed his arm in a comforting fashion. "I'd do the same for my students. I can't tell you not to fight for any of them."

Sasuke found he was able to split his attention: answering Kiba's questions and listening to Kakashi and Kurenai. What had he done? But on the other hand, Kiba was warming to him. Kiba was warm and happy and Sasuke kind of like him. Shikamaru didn't show any emotion and Sasuke felt Shikamaru didn't trust him. Hinata was blushing and cute, but she was welcoming in a way like Kiba. Shino was so quiet as to be invisible. Akamaru knew Kiba had accepted the Uchiha and rubbed up against him and Sasuke petted him. Unlike Naruto and Sakura, Sasuke wanted to know Kiba and Hinata. When Kakashi turned back to him, Kakashi could see that. And he didn't like it. Jealousy bubbled up in him.

"We should get home," Kakashi said as emotionlessly as he could. Sasuke looked at him and nodded. Sasuke nodded goodbye to the group and left attached to Kakashi's side again.

Kurenai came up next to Shikamaru. "You've been awfully quiet," she said.

"If he never gets his memory back, good. But if he does . . . I don't think either of them will survive."

Sasuke let his transformation drop once the door was shut and locked.

Kakashi swallowed his jealousy. "Well done." Sasuke beamed at the praise. "Now I'll teach you the clone jutsu."

Sasuke forgot his questions for the moment.

xxxxx

Kakashi only intended to make out with Sasuke as he sat back against his headboard with Sasuke straddling his thighs and supporting his weight on Kakashi's raised knees. Sasuke had grown so much stronger since he came to live with Kakashi.

Sasuke knew how to kiss and Kakashi loved to just make out with him until he couldn't take it anymore. Sasuke was the impatient one this evening. The windows still glowed with the dying sunlight. Sasuke tried to strip, but it was difficult in this position with someone greedily plundering his mouth. Frustrated, he stood on the bed and shucked all his clothes. Kakashi wasn't about to hinder his lover and did the same in his sitting position.

Kakashi growled as the lithe body descended back onto his lap. Sasuke had to be the most desirable person he ever saw. He watched Sasuke sizable manhood go by and then the slim waist then the chest with erect nipples and finally that gorgeous face. Sasuke was smiling at him, at the desire in his eyes. Then Sasuke was back in the same position.

Kakashi gently grabbed the back of Sasuke's neck and pulled him into another kiss. He was so in love, so overwhelmed by the happiness Sasuke brought him. Sweet, innocent Sasuke. Kakashi had sex partners before, but never a _lover_. He loved him so much. Just the kiss was overwhelming. Sasuke was soft and yielding and responsive, teasing Kakashi deeper and just licking at his tongue to give him pleasure as he plundered his mouth. For Kakashi's part, it was desperate. It was almost like Kakashi was panicking that if he didn't keep kissing Sasuke, he would disappear.

Maybe deep down Kakashi did fear that. Sasuke was so much younger and he really only knew Kakashi. Sasuke had taken a liking to Kiba and soon would be allowed to go outside without Kakashi's company. Sasuke would find someone else, someone younger who could make him happy. Maybe even a woman. Sasuke will leave him. Kakashi couldn't bear the thought. He wanted to keep Sasuke's attention on him, keep his eyes on him, keep his world focused on him. Kakashi finally understood why some men locked up their girlfriends and wives and sought to control every aspect of their lives. He wanted to lock Sasuke away and never let him see another soul. It was jealousy and insecurity. He knew there was someone better than him in the world for Sasuke and he feared Sasuke realizing that. He was desperate to keep him. He wouldn't allow himself to consider that if Sasuke wasn't pardoned they would definitely be separated. By death.

Sasuke was moving his hips to rub their bare erections against each other just a little. Kakashi was ready to take him, but he let Sasuke dictate this one.

Sasuke sucked on Kakashi's earlobe. Kakashi enjoyed it until he thought about the fact Sasuke was so good at kissing and turning him on by sucking on his ear like that. He shivered thinking about Sasuke doing this with Orochimaru. Why couldn't he get that out of his mind? Maybe it was someone else. That didn't curb his jealous, but it did decrease the creepiness.

Sasuke grabbed the lube from the nightstand and pressed his hips forward against Kakashi's chest while he squeezed lube onto Kakashi's hard cock. Kakashi spread the lube over his length and aimed it as Sasuke lowered himself on it. This wasn't the ideal position, but it was still great. Sasuke couldn't sustain it however, his thighs being too weak to keep in this position and bounce up and down on Kakashi's cock.

Sasuke settled down, completely impaled. Kakashi understood that he was tired so he grabbed his young lover and flipped them so that Sasuke was on his back.

Sasuke had always been athletic, but Kakashi never knew how limber he was until now. Sasuke brought his knees back almost under his armpits. Kakashi braced himself with his arms at Sasuke's sides so that he could hook his legs on Kakashi's arms. That made fucking him so much easier. Kakashi loved looking at Sasuke's face, therefore doggy style wasn't the ideal position—though it did have wonderful advantages of its own. Right now Kakashi looked down into Sasuke's lovely face.

Sated a few minutes later, Kakashi lay on his back next to his hazy-eyed lover. Kakashi pulled Sasuke onto him. Sasuke folded his legs on either side of Kakashi's body and tucked his head under his chin. Kakashi caressed Sasuke's smooth back, over the swell of his ass, and then between his legs. If Sasuke had been a woman, Kakashi would have been fingering her labia.

"Hmmm, that feels good," Sasuke murmured.

"I love you so much. I wish I could do more for you; take you out, give you something. I promise, once you're pardoned, I'm going to utterly dote on you."

"I thought you did that now."

"You have no idea."

"Hmmm. I'm hungry."

"Let's take a quick shower and then I'll cook for you."

"Can I help? You do everything around here."

"Sure."

Freshly washed and dressed, Kakashi instructed Sasuke in how to cook. He'd already taken him out to the back yard for kunai and shuriken practice and he'd done well, so he felt confident giving Sasuke knife duty.

Holding the single edged chef's knife, which was longer than a kunai, Sasuke felt something. He held it out in front of him. The weight felt wrong.

"Kakashi, do you have something longer than this?"

Kakashi's heart sped up. "Like a sword?"

"Yeah." He looked over at Kakashi and saw concern in his eye. "Something wrong?"

"He used a sword."

_He_. Kakashi usually said _you_. Sasuke didn't know how he felt about the fact Kakashi was beginning to separate who he was and who he used to be. Sasuke just went back to chopping vegetables. He felt like his body was aching to hold a sword again, but he didn't want to Kakashi to worry about his memories returning.

That got Sasuke thinking all through the cooking and through dinner. Kakashi hated that look on Sasuke's face. It was actually quite attractive, but he still feared Sasuke thinking like that. That sword thing already had him worried.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I know you don't want me to try and remember my past, but I can't help wondering what I did. I promised I wouldn't ask you again if you kissed me and you did. I plotted against you and attacked you? I don't understand."

"I can understand your curiosity. You had your reasons. No one can really say whether you were right or wrong, but the path you did choose was painful for all of us. You have a chance to take the alternate path. I may be forcing you that way, but trust me, it's a better path."

"I trust you."

"You heard what I said to Kurenai." Sasuke nodded. "I will never cut my losses."

"That's not what I'm worried about; I know you'll never abandon me. But if everyone remembers all the bad things I did . . ."

"I'll protect you until they all realize you didn't do those things."

Sasuke was unsure, but he dropped it. "Can I ask you something else?" Kakashi nodded. "You keep saying you'll protect me 'this time.' You failed before?"

"I've failed to protect everyone important to me. Both my parents died when I was a kid, my first teammates, who were also my first friends, died on missions, my sensei, the man I looked up to the most beside my father, died along with his wife. Then I couldn't stop you from running away. I swear, I'll protect you this time. I swear it."

Sasuke smiled, but it was weak.

Sasuke couldn't sleep that night. They weren't pressed up against each other since it was quite warm tonight, but Kakashi's hand lay on Sasuke's. Sasuke didn't like being the cause of pain. Kakashi loved him, but Sasuke reminded him of so many bad things. And everyone else saw him as . . . a traitor? Sasuke wasn't sure.

Kakashi's breath was blowing against his chest and his own breath feathered Kakashi's hair when he sighed. He wanted a new start, but he needed to know what he'd done. Being hated for something he didn't remember was maddening. He didn't want to stay in Konoha unless he could stay under lock and key here.

And what if they decided to kill him. He never gave a sign to Kakashi that he was worried about it, but he was. He figured it was 50/50. Why was it taking so long if they trusted him? Tsunade must be fighting hard for his sake. There was a very real possibility that he would be executed. Death, for some reason—perhaps his former life—didn't frighten him. What he feared was Kakashi's reaction. He was worried for Kakashi. He wished he'd never asked for that kiss so he could spare Kakashi the pain he was certain was coming. Then again, Kakashi had been attentive and promised to protect him before that night; there was no way to prevent Kakashi feeling pain over his death. But Kiba had known him and had accepted the new him, maybe everyone else could do the same.

He stared at the little he could see of Kakashi's face for a while longer before sleep finally took him.


	4. In the Open

Rosebunse: I decided to add more creepy because of your suggestion, but I thought you were thinking more predatory/pedophile creepy, this is obsessed/possessive creepy.  
Guest: Yeah, I think writers are emotional sadists.  
00-night-eyes-00: I so appreciate that fact you read so many of my stories. ^_^  
Prescripto13: Indeed. Shikamaru is rarely wrong.  
Nimbafuu: Oh, I love to hear things like that! I'm so glad. I hope I continue to please! I also think that chapter was pretty good. The sex scene and Sasuke meeting them all . . . Thank you!  
xXMiyakoXSasukeXx: Yeah, I don't think my mother, whom I live with, knows what it is. I just assured her that there's weirdos at every anime conventions (she had to drive me one day because I was sick). Well, I'm not sure how old you are, but you have to show ID and be over 18 to even register. I think it's odd, as steamy as this genre is, you rarely see any full frontal nudity. I, at least, don't partially care to look at 'it' so that's understandable, but it's still sort of a porn convention. ^_^ Really, there wasn't a whole lot out in the open, but some of the panels were definitely not for the young. I went to a BDSM talk and one on writing Yaoi which was hilarious, informative, and had great pictures! I overheard that this one was rather small and that it was taken over by a new company so it wasn't the greatest Yaoi convention. Maybe next year my tissues will be for nosebleeds, not because I had a cold.  
Nazrita: With Kiba and Akamaru's ability to smell the power of chakra, I thought they'd be the perfect ones to confirm that Sasuke isn't faking.  
adicctioncr-lovespn: Thank you!  
ReaperninHiro: Thank you. Oh, Sasuke and Kakashi, what will their fate be . . . We shall see . . .

* * *

Kakashi growled at the knocking on the door. He wasn't about to pounce on the young Uchiha, but he was eyeing him rather than watching him as Sasuke sat on the floor focusing his chakra; he was far from being able to try the Chidori, but he'd started preparing him for it.

His one open eye darted from the sable hair to the shut eyelids to the perfectly formed nose to the thin, soft lips, the thin cheeks then back to the long lashed eyelids. Every feature so perfect, not a blemish, not a scar. So young and perfect. His hair was getting longer and the signature duckbutt was wilting. Whenever he opened those eyes, they were so much wider than Kakashi remembered them. So full of innocence. Kakashi's heart ached even though he was in the same room with him. This was the last thing Kakashi deserved: such a lovely, innocent, young man.

But the damn knocking on the door broke him out of his examination.

Sasuke opened his eyes, but didn't move while Kakashi answered the door. _What the hell is ANBU doing letting anyone knock on this door?_ Kakashi inwardly grumbled as he opened the door. First it was Naruto and Sakura, this time it was Kiba and Hinata.

"Thought we'd visit Sasuke," Kiba said. Hinata stood at his elbow as shy as ever and Akamaru sat next to his master.

Kakashi took a deep breath. Having them on their side might help. Kakashi opened the door further and ushered them in, he even nodded to the oversized dog to give him permission as well. Sasuke stood up, happy to see them.

"Weird seeing you smiling," Kiba said.

"I've been told I never had a reason to before." Sasuke knelt to pet Akamaru who was being very affectionate, licking his face and rubbing up against him and turning onto his back for a belly rub.

Kakashi wanted to make Sasuke look that happy, but he knew his ninken would never be as affectionate as Akamaru was being right now. That brought them to mind; he'd been neglecting them since Sasuke woke up. He'd have to summon them and probably introduce—or reintroduce—them to Sasuke. And he wanted to that dog right now.

Kakashi listened as they talked. Sasuke never really knew these two or really any of his classmates or their exploits, so he thought it was safe for him to hear tales from their team. At least this was a diversion to their monotonous day. He was glad Sasuke never once stared at Hinata's ample bosom or looked at Kiba in a way to make him jealous. He was jealous anyway, but not to the point of wanting to rip Kiba's lungs out. Akamaru looked over at him when his jealousy peaked, but it wasn't a threatening look, more of a 'what are angry about?' look.

The worst part was when Kiba's stories made Sasuke laugh. At least Kakashi could watch the boy laugh. Hinata just sat there watching the two boys petting Akamaru with Sasuke.

The difference between this meeting and the one with Naruto and Sakura was so pronounced Kakashi had to smile at it. He was so jealous now that he was glad Naruto and Sakura had been pushed away; the Uchiha was his. Neither Kiba or Hinata sought after Sasuke the way the rest of Team Seven did.

"Are you training yet?" Kiba asked Sasuke.

"A little. Muscle memory is allowing me to relearn quickly, but we don't leave the house very often."

"I never got to spar with you after we graduated the academy," Kiba said with a smile. "I can't wait to train with you."

Kakashi didn't want Kiba laying a finger on Sasuke.

"Maybe you can even give Hinata a challenge when she uses her Byakugan," Kiba laughed. Hinata blushed.

Finally, they left with a wave to Kakashi. Kakashi locked the door. Sasuke looked pleased and relaxed as he sat on the sofa.

"Did I not have friends before?" Sasuke asked.

"Just Naruto. I don't think he ever counted Sakura or me as friends. He was a loner."

Sasuke hugged himself as much from his lonely thoughts as from Kakashi's use of the third person. "Please stopping calling the old me 'him.' It disturbs me. And it gets confusing."

"But you're not the same person."

"Call him something else."

"You are so very different. He was more like a son while you're my lover. But you're more innocent like a son should be while he was an arrogant, sometimes evil bastard. I don't know what I should call him." He thought for a moment. "That girl, she called the group he made Taka. His last summon was a hawk. We'll call him 'Taka.' Taka doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"

"No."

"Taka, then."

Sasuke nodded and returned his lonesome thoughts for a moment. "I don't like going outside with all those other people, but I liked having Kiba and Hinata around. The fact they knew me, but we weren't friends makes me feel lonely. I don't want to be alone."

Kakashi crouched in front of him and put a hand on his cheek. "You won't be again. I won't leave you for a second."

"You don't like them?" Sasuke was as observant as ever.

"I don't like anyone getting near you."

"Why?"

"I don't want to lose you, to your memories or to anyone else."

"You won't."

"I'm afraid if you meet more people, you'll fall more in love with someone else, someone younger, someone more deserving of you."

"I don't think I can love anyone else. I'm sure I loved you before. It's the only thing I seem to remember."

"Good. As long as you love only me." Kakashi felt he could be honest with Sasuke right now without scaring him. "I only want you to look at me. I know that's silly, not possible, but I'm jealous of you Sasuke. I love you so much. If I lost you again, I couldn't live with it."

"Even if I remember, I won't leave you, I promise."

"If you remember, you won't have a choice; you'll be killed. But you won't die alone."

"Don't say that."

"I can't live if I fail you again."

Sasuke hugged him. "You're being too fatalistic."

"Maybe. I'm a shinobi. I've lost everyone else who mattered to me."

Sasuke realized he wasn't the only one who was afraid of being alone.

xxxxx

Tsunade rarely came to see them. Kakashi hoped every time she arrived that it was tell him that Sasuke as being pardoned. He invited her in and showed her to a chair. Sasuke stood unsure near the hall to the bedroom.

"Sit, Sasuke," Tsunade said.

Sasuke sat on the sofa and Kakashi joined him without being told.

"We want to see how Sasuke might be accepted in the village. We're going to let out a rumor that Sasuke's awake and has potentially permanent amnesia."

"The truth then," Kakashi said.

"Yes. We'll see how that information is received. Then I want you to take him out as himself and see what the people's reaction is. Not far. I don't want to purposely draw attention to him, but I want to gage people's reaction to him."

"I don't think the civilians will be a problem," Kakashi said, "but the shinobi, especially those who were there . . ."

Sasuke looked at him. _There?_ He looked down, knowing no one would tell him what Kakashi was talking about.

"His demeanor is so different now," Kakashi continued. "I think it will convince a few people that he's changed. Most people will remember that he never smiled or anything other than that disinterest expression or a smirk. They're not the same person, they'll see that."

"I'm not the one you need to convince, Kakashi."

"Tell me who I need to convince. I'll convince them one by one."

"Pretty sentiment, but we'll just let the rumor run for now then the two of you will test the waters. Your ANBU guard trusts Sasuke." Kakashi tensed; had they been spying on them inside the house? "They've only seen you when you've left the house—" Kakashi relaxed "—but they feel it's not an act. When you go out undisguised, they will step in if they have to."

Sasuke hunched in on himself. "I don't like this."

"We can't keep you locked up here for the rest of your life," Tsunade said.

"Why not?" Sasuke looked up into Tsunade's eyes and asked the question with so much sincerely, Tsunade needed a moment to find an adequate answer. She'd never really known Sasuke before, but this one was so much like a child at times, like now.

"Kakashi can't stay here all the time; the two of you will need to make a living and for that you have to leave the house. You're inherently talented; it's one of the reasons—very few reasons—the others are even entertaining keeping you alive."

Sasuke recoiled a little and Tsunade regretted the way she phrased it. "Listen, this is the only way I can get the rest of the council to agree to pardon you. If the village can accept you, then they are willing to let you live for now."

"For now?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know how long until they accept the memory loss is permanent, but it's a delay of execution."

Kakashi was disturbed. "The Uchiha were one of the wealthiest clans in the world, we can just live off that. Let him stay hidden here."

"The loss of Sasuke's talents is one thing; the loss of yours on top of that . . ."

"So we have until the council decides I've had a long enough vacation."

"Ah." Tsunade looked genuinely sorry and ashamed.

Kakashi looked at Sasuke and saw the same amount of concern over his impending death as he always saw: none.

"I'm sorry; I'm doing what I can." Tsunade stood.

Kakashi also stood and escorted her to the door. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

Sasuke stood and bowed and repeated, "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

Kakashi smiled. This wasn't the old Sasuke; they would see and they would let him live.

Tsunade nodded and left.

"Aren't you scared?" Kakashi asked, concerned over the lack of emotion talk of his death conjured.

"I don't want to die, but I'll have no choice but to accept it. I don't know how I should feel."

"Taka never seemed to have emotions beyond anger. He rarely knew fear."

Sasuke looked down. He still didn't like it, Kakashi saying 'he' even if he was also calling him Taka. The more Kakashi mention the man he used to be, the more it bothered Sasuke. And what kind of monster was he? He closed in on himself.

Kakashi saw how troubled his young lover was now. He knelt in front of him and looked up into his black eyes. "Don't worry; I'll do everything in my power to protect you."

Sasuke looked into the one grey eye he loved so much and he questioned if it was worth it to live. He would be haunted for the rest of his life by 'him.' And he was beginning to question what Kakashi felt about him and 'Taka.' If he lost Kakashi there would be absolutely no reason to live. That thought scared him. He started to cry and Kakashi pulled him to him so they were both on their knees. Sasuke let all his confusion and fears pour out onto Kakashi's shoulder.

Kakashi didn't know how long it took before Sasuke finished. He kind of liked having Sasuke in his arms like this and the show of trust that crying showed, but he didn't like the fact his love was crying. Sasuke pulled away and started wiping away his tears.

Kakashi pulled down his mask and took Sasuke's cheek in his hand to raise his head and look at him. "I've never seen you cry before. You still look lovely." He kissed the tears still falling down his face. Kakashi gave him a smile. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Sasuke nodded. He did feel better, but his fears didn't go away.

xxxxx

The rumor spread like a flame among dry leaves. Luckily, the rumor didn't include where the Uchiha was living now. Only so many shinobi had the ability to detect Sasuke and less than a dozen knew Sasuke well enough to recognize his presence. Kiba and Hinata were already on the Uchiha's side and the only other was Neji. Neji was about to hunt him down by orders of his clan, but Hinata stopped him, she having been given the same order as her cousin.

"Sasuke's different. Don't let anyone hurt him. He's so innocent now. I met him. Kiba saw through his disguise and we became friends."

Neji frowned at her, but he'd become close to her and her father in the last few years. "Where is he? I want to see how different he is."

She knew it would be foolish to ask him to promise not to tell anyone else, so she just told him; Neji would find out soon on his own anyway. "He's living in Kakashi-sensei's house."

Kakashi checked the window before he opened the door, afraid of what angry mob might have found them. Neji, looking as expressionless and unflappable as Sasuke ever did. Kakashi opened the door.

"I want to see for myself if the Uchiha has changed."

_Hello, to you too._ Kakashi let him in. He would seriously need to speak to their ANBU guard.

Sasuke had insisted on doing more around the house and was now washing dishes. Neji was a little surprised to see Sasuke doing such a domestic task. Sasuke hadn't heard the knocking over the water and the clinking of dishes and continued with his chore.

Neji activated his Byakugan. The darkness he'd seen in Sasuke before was gone. He was taken aback. Sasuke had always been dark, even before Orochimaru gave him that curse mark; but now, there was nothing.

"Hinata-sama was right."

At the sound of Neji's voice, Sasuke turned, startled to see someone other than Kakashi in the house.

"What do you see?" Kakashi asked.

"He was filled with darkness and his chakra was cold and dark, its color was dark purple, almost black. It's lavender now. I sense no darkness. He's not the same at all. I'd be prepared to swear he wasn't Sasuke. I'll report that to my clan. They wanted him hunted down and killed. I'll placate them; this isn't the man who murdered members of our clan."

Sasuke's expression dropped. Kakashi grimaced; Sasuke didn't need to know what he did.

"I appreciate your help, Neji-kun," Kakashi said. "I assure you, he isn't the same man."

"Hinata-sama does not have the insight I do, but she has good intuition; she agrees." Neji eyed Sasuke again. "Is there no way to tell if the amnesia is permanent?"

"No," Kakashi admitted. "But nothing is even familiar to him," he lied; Kakashi would never tell anyone about the love Sasuke felt sure he felt before. "I don't think he'll remember. Itachi means nothing to him, neither does his clan."

Neji nodded. The importance of the clan was something the Uchiha and Hyuuga had always had in common and if Sasuke felt nothing for the clan he'd wanted to avenge and revive, then his memories were certainly lost. "Forgive the intrusion. Make sure he doesn't remember."

"I will do my utmost." Kakashi showed Neji out and sighed.

"I murdered members of his family? Of Hinata's family?" Sasuke could see they were related.

"I wouldn't call it 'murder.'"

"Wha—" Sasuke stopped himself; he promised to stop asking.

"It was a battle. Taka killed a lot of people, but I don't believe you can be judged for something you don't remember doing."

"What if I went somewhere else where they don't recognize me?"

"I don't think such a place exists. At least not where anyone would allow you to live. If nothing else, they'll have to keep an eye on you, just in case."

As much as never leaving this house appealed to Sasuke, he truly realized how much a prisoner he was and always would be. He wanted to ask why this was happening to him, but there was a reason: he used to be someone else who probably deserved this. But it didn't seem fair. He wanted to convince Kakashi to just let the elders kill him, but he knew Kakashi loved him too much and such talk would probably make him angry. He sighed.

"I have no choice but to do what you tell me and hope people will leave me alone."

"Hai. But so far, people have believed you. We'll get through this."

Sasuke nodded.

xxxxx

The night before they were to test the waters, Sasuke practically clung to Kakashi. Caressing and kissing Sasuke to soothe him started to arouse them both. Sasuke pressed his body hard against Kakashi's as they kissed. They only parted that evening to strip.

Still standing, Kakashi practically picked Sasuke up. Kakashi let Sasuke dominate the kiss while Kakashi caressed between his ass cheeks. The rarely touched flesh was so sensitive it made Sasuke fully hard and Kakashi felt his entrance relax and gap a little, begging for attention.

Kakashi finally laid Sasuke on the bed and nudged him onto his stomach. Kakashi got behind him and manipulated his body so Sasuke was on his knees with his chest against the bed. He ran his hands over Sasuke's ass cheeks then attacked the base of his spine with his mouth, kissing that patch of nerve endings. He ran his hands down Sasuke's beautiful back. Sasuke spread his knees a little further apart. Kakashi easily pressed a finger into Sasuke's body.

"Kakashi, please, make love to me."

Kakashi laid his body over his smaller lover. Sasuke probably had one more growth spurt coming his way, but he'd never match Kakashi's nigh on six feet. He put his hands on Sasuke's chest and abdomen, relishing his body heat and the small tendrils of chakra that bled from every shinobi. He kissed and ran his teeth over the skin of Sasuke's neck. He didn't dare bite him, fearful someone would see the mark. He bit at Sasuke's hair instead, tasting the thick, black strands.

"I love you." Kakashi's voice was low and rumbling. Sasuke shuttered.

Kakashi reached for the lube and lubed himself. He stuck two slick fingers inside his lover for good measure, then his cock easily penetrated him. Sasuke was still tight, he just had an incredible ability to relax and open himself up. Once the head was inside him, Sasuke tightened up and scraped the lube from Kakashi's length as Kakashi pressed in.

"You're heaven, Sasuke," Kakashi whispered behind Sasuke's ear.

"Feels so good," Sasuke sighed.

Kakashi rocked and Sasuke pushed back against him. With Kakashi pressed against him, Sasuke's efforts were futile. He realized this and gave up. Kakashi knew from Sasuke's motions that he wanted it faster and harder so he leaned back and slid his hands around Sasuke's body to grab his hips and properly fucked him.

Sasuke gasped and moaned as his prostate was struck repeatedly. He twisted his hips as much as he could, varying the sensation for Kakashi. Kakashi leaned down, but not to lay his weight on Sasuke, rather he grabbed Sasuke's shoulders and used them as leverage. An inch from his hair, Kakashi whispered, "Sasuke. Sasuke."

"Ahh, fuck. Kakashi," he whined.

Kakashi reach around and pulled at Sasuke's erection until he cam with a shuttering groan. Kakashi was another minute behind him. Sated, he remain sheathed in Sasuke's warm body and embraced him tightly and kissed his neck.

"I love you and I won't let any harm come to you, ever. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

Kakashi kissed his cheek and pulled his body from Sasuke's and lay down next to him. Lying face to face, Kakashi ran a finger over Sasuke's cheek.

"You're finally beginning to grow a beard. It's going to be pathetic," Kakashi laughed. "But I think it'll look good on you." Sasuke smiled a little and Kakashi continued to run the back of his finger over Sasuke's lips. On the third pass, Kakashi said, "I love you." He then ran his fingertip down the length of Sasuke's straight, regal nose.

Kakashi really hated love. Even with the object of his adoration right here in front of him—touching him—his heart ached. And why couldn't he stop looking at him? No wonder he'd avoided falling in love for so long. If Sasuke left his side for even a moment, Kakashi worried the pain might debilitate him.

The jealousy wasn't good either. Now he was wondering if it wasn't Orochimaru, if Sasuke had loved someone and had a lover. Maybe it was Kabuto and the white hair was why Sasuke thought he loved Kakashi before. No, if he remembered anyone at all it would be Itachi. Which means he probably didn't 'remember' loving Kakashi. He hoped Sasuke would never regain his memories for another reason now: fear of remembering someone he loved or realizing he never loved Kakashi before.

Sasuke could read some of the emotions in Kakashi's eye. Love, anger, fear. Sasuke shut his eyes. Part of him wanted to run away from Kakashi because Kakashi loved him so much and would no doubt be hurt when—and Sasuke was becoming convinced it would be 'when' not 'if'—he died. He also wanted to get away from Konoha and the ghost of the man he once was. Sleep, and death, were good ways to run away.

Kakashi also scared him sometimes. Sometimes he felt smothered.

xxxxx

Time to venture outside undisguised. Sasuke had been wearing mostly new civilian clothes, but he sometimes wore some of Kakashi's shirts around the house even if they were too big for him. But today Kakashi was far more cautious about Sasuke's wardrobe. Everyone was used to seeing the young Sasuke wearing either blue or black shirts and white shorts: none of that—especially the white shorts. More recently it was gray or white shirts which Sasuke kept open over his chest with that rope belt and concealing blue wrap. Those were most definitely not options. What could the boy wear so he wouldn't stand out or make people fear he was the same Sasuke from before? Being non-descript was normally very easy for shinobi in Konoha: just wear a uniform. Not an option this time. Or maybe the uniform without the vest and pouches? Kakashi sent a shadow clone to fetch the dark blue shirt and pants in Sasuke's size.

Sasuke liked it; the clothes were warm and concealing, except for the target like swirl over his spine. But he didn't like leaving the house. He felt exposed without the transformation jutsu. Even Kakashi's presence wasn't helping. After some training he learned that the feeling he was getting all the time were the members of ANBU around the house. Those presences didn't help either, but Sasuke was certain that if they were absent, he'd be cowering. Their's and Kakashi's presences were like a bubble of home surrounding him.

He hunched his shoulders a little and couldn't help looking around as if someone might attack him, but his expression wasn't challenging or threatening, it was meek and scared shitless.

Only Tsunade and ANBU knew they were going out today, so the young Uchiha's presence was quite a shock to people. There were audible gasps and mutterings as Kakashi led the sixteen year old toward the market.

Kakashi was trying to act normal, except he didn't even carry his book today and he wasn't silly enough to pretend he wasn't looking out for Sasuke. In actually, he was disturbed. He'd only known one person to ever walk around in those clothes without vest or pouches: Minato. He didn't need reminders of the dead today, of someone he loved like a father and had lost.

It went pretty well actually. Kakashi could see the way people were looking at Sasuke: they couldn't believe he'd be so timid, afraid of being looked at. No one attacked him, no one even approached him. Maybe they could get through this.

They made it to a shop at the beginning of the market district. Kakashi purchased some supplies and gave Sasuke the smaller bag. The way Sasuke clutched it, Kakashi knew he wanted to crawl inside it.

On their way home, there were a lot more people loitering around. It was pretty clear now that Sasuke was living in Kakashi's home and so people who wanted to get a look at Sasuke and had heard he was out and about staked out their route home.

Kakashi sighed. Sasuke's eyes grew wider and he was really trying to hide behind the paper bag. Kakashi didn't look like he was examining the people they passed, but he did. It was almost all fear and wonder. He was right: the civilians were afraid, but not angry. The few shinobi he saw were angry, but no one attacked. Who could attack a boy with wide, fearful eyes like that? And with his sensei—the Copy-ninja—right next to him?

They finally made it home and Kakashi quickly put the supplies away and then checked on Sasuke who'd collapsed on the sofa when they came home.

"That went well," Kakashi said. "It will get easier, I promise." But he didn't like how many pairs of eyes had looked at Sasuke. "Come on, let me make love to you. It'll relax you and take your mind off things."

Sasuke nodded and followed Kakashi to the bedroom. Kakashi lay Sasuke down, still fully clothed and hiked up his shirt. He kissed and licked at the damp skin; Sasuke had been in a cold sweat since before they left the house. His fear of the outside and other people were approaching phobic levels. Kakashi didn't dwell on that, but turned his attention to tasting that salty skin. He cursed shinobi deodorant, he wanted to smell him. He could smell his fear in every pore, but his own scent was dampened by the unscented deodorant.

Sasuke was calming down from being outside, but he was becoming aroused especially as Kakashi tongue fucked his navel.

His control of chakra and ability to sense it had been growing and now he felt something.

"Stop, Kakashi. Someone's coming."

Kakashi raised his head and concentrated. Sasuke was right. Kakashi got up and went to the front door, pulling up his mask as he went. Sasuke pulled his shirt down and followed Kakashi.

Kakashi went to the window near the door and eased the curtain back a little and looked out. About seven shinobi stood at the edge of the property, chunin and Jounin. Two were crouched, checking the traps that Kakashi had spread around his home, the rest stood behind them.

"Sasuke, get behind the sofa and stay down."

Sasuke was frightened and obeyed.

Kakashi let out a strong killing aura that hit Sasuke so hard he thought his heart might stop. The ANBU around the house tensed. The two Jounin examining the traps stood. One of the chunin fell backward. From their reactions, Kakashi knew who the dangerous shinobi were in that group. They all looked at the window and saw the Copy-nin through the gap in the curtains. His gray eye was threatening. Then above him ANBU appeared on the roof like gargoyles, crouched and ready to attack. The shinobi looked at the masked ANBU and back at Kakashi's eye then backed away. The Uchiha's security was too formidable.

Kakashi waited until the men were far enough away before he closed the curtain and went to the sofa where Sasuke was cowering. Cowering! An Uchiha! Kakashi looked down at him softly, not out of love or a desire to comfort him, but because Kakashi was amused and glad that the old Sasuke was truly dead. Sasuke would never cower from a murderous aura, not since he was thirteen.

"They're gone. They won't mess with me and your ANBU guard. Sorry if I scared you."

"They want to kill me."

"I don't know. They might have just been curious."

"You wouldn't have scared them off like that if you thought they were just curious."

"I'd do it to protect you from a mosquito. It's still early. Do you want to continue or are you hungry or anything?" He wanted to ravish him, but didn't think Sasuke would be receptive after he felt that aura come from him.

"I just want to go to bed."

Aware that he'd scared Sasuke, Kakashi asked, "Do you want me to join you?" Sasuke obviously didn't want Kakashi to join him, but didn't know how to answer. "Come on," Kakashi held out a hand to him. "Let's get you to bed; I'll just read nearby for while."

Sasuke curled up under the blanket and Kakashi sat by the window. Before Sasuke could fall asleep, Kakashi said, "You know that aura I gave off? You once gave off a worse aura, maybe more than once. I felt it when you tried to kill me. What you felt, it paled in comparison to what a true murderous aura is. That's why they fear you. Some of us felt yours before."

"How many people did I kill?"

"Maybe a thousand."

Sasuke sat up with his eyes wide. "A thousand?"

"You weren't . . . I don't think Taka was sane. All he wanted to do was kill us all. I lost him a long time ago to grief and revenge and rage. I won't lose you like I lost him."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"As frightened as you were of me just now, I was far more frightened of you a few months ago."

"I don't want to kill anyone."

"You're too innocent to be a shinobi anymore. Don't tell Tsunade; it'll make things harder for you."

"How many people have you killed?"

"Maybe two hundred. Five hundred. I don't know."

Sasuke considered Kakashi's guilt. "Did you have anything to do with my family's death?"

"None. I was friends with your cousin and I knew your older brother. If I had known the truth . . . I found out shortly after he—Taka, did. But there's no one left to blame for their deaths. He killed them already."

"Don't you fear me remembering? Why are you saying so much?"

"Your memories are gone and they're not coming back. Taka's dead. Get some sleep; I'll keep you safe. I'm sorry I scared you."

"I've never—I mean I haven't felt something like that."

"The first time Taka felt a powerful aura, he told me he threw up and was paralyzed. He could produce an aura that strong I'm sure. I could probably make civilians puke, but to make someone like him collapse? Very few could do that. The one who did that to him was his sensei after me."

"No matter what, I'll be a prisoner the rest of my life, won't I?"

"Probably."

Sasuke lay down and snuggled deeper into the mattress. He didn't want to leave the house, but he now also wanted to run away. He was surrounded by killers. He once was a killer. His lover was killer.

Kakashi came over and sat on the bed. He brushed Sasuke's hair back from his forehead. "I could never run after you and chase you like Naruto. All I can do is protect you. I tried before but you still left. If I had stayed with you that night . . . I could never chase you. Since I can't chase you, I need to keep you. Sleep."

Sasuke finally drifted off.

xxxxx

They had to go outside again. Sasuke still walked like a frightened child, hunched and trying to hide against Kakashi's side. He had felt Kakashi's aura and had sensed hostility, but he was now more attuned to his surroundings. He could feel it all around him. And with the same animal-like senses, the shinobi around him felt his fear and looked at him like prey, which he could feel and made him even more terrified.

He was clutching the paper bag again as if it could shield him. Even though it meant leaving Kakashi's side, Sasuke stopped when he felt hostility ahead of them. Kakashi looked as bored as ever, but he left carrying the bags to Sasuke so as to keep his hands free. He was not unaware of the three shinobi ahead of him, but he acted like he was.

When the three men made their presence known, Kakashi stopped and sighed. Fuck, two were Jounin. A women came up and tried to talk her friend out of attacking them, but he wouldn't listen. She was either just afraid of the famous Copy-nin or she feared Sasuke was faking and was a spectacular actor. Or maybe she thought he really was innocent now.

Kakashi stepped in front of Sasuke to shield him. As the men closed the distance, Kakashi relaxed into a ready, lazy-looking posture. He took in his surroundings and was surprised to sense Naruto and Sakura nearby. Raido was there too, but no one moved to support him, no one came to Sasuke's defence.

Sasuke was petrified. He knew that he was supposed to be able to kill, but he was frozen with fear. And no one did anything, no one wanted to help him or Kakashi. Sasuke looked at the only people he recognized beside Kakashi—Naruto and Sakura—but they didn't do anything either. Several others looked at them too expecting them to act, but they did nothing. Sasuke gave them a pleading look. It turned sad when Naruto looked away and Sakura looked down. If they hoped he'd regret his cold treatment of them, they succeeded.

Sasuke looked back at Kakashi just as the three men attacked. They didn't stand a chance. Kakashi wasn't playing games: he pulled his headband up and brought out his Chidori first thing out of the gate. The Chidori hound went for the second man and the first was stopped dead by Kakashi's elbow in his nose. Kakashi had moved so swiftly, the man didn't see him approach and spin. The third man got half a dozen kunai off, but Kakashi had his own kunai out and deflected them all. None were aimed at the Copy-ninja, they were aimed at Sasuke.

Sasuke stumbled back and landed on his ass amid a few kunai. Still, no one thought to help.

The first man was out of commission with a mild concussion and a broken nose that was gushing blood. The second man tried to get up with electricity from the medium level Chidori still making his muscles twitch. The third man was still unharmed.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked without looking back at him.

"I'm-m-m okay," Sasuke stuttered. If they weren't in the middle of a fight, Kakashi would have been charmed by Sasuke stuttering.

"I don't want to escalate this any further," Kakashi warned the third man. ANBU knew Kakashi wanted to handle this, but they were waiting to move in at the first sign he had his hands full. Three appeared on the rooftops, but no one gave the three masked men any mind.

The second man made it to his feet and Kakashi put him back down with shuriken to the metal headband. The third man weighed his chances; Kakashi was on top of his game. He stood down.

Kakashi turned and knelt in front of Sasuke to check on him.

"I'm alright," Sasuke assured him.

Sasuke looked up and saw the third man attacking. He didn't think, his body moved on its own: he grabbed a kunai from the ground and threw it at the man with perfect aim and nailed him in the shoulder before Kakashi could turn. He looked back at Sasuke and saw the Sharingan blazing in his eyes. But to his relief, there was none of the old Sasuke behind the red eyes.

The shinobi with the wounded shoulder stared at those red eyes with fear and ran away. ANBU grabbed him before he could get far. The three shinobi would answer for violence in the streets.

"Let's get you home," Kakashi said as he helped Sasuke stand. He sent a disappointed glace at his other former students.


End file.
